Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Tim = Poopie: a Quick Proof

As a freshman math major in college i find myself spending a lot of time proving stuff everyone already knows or accepts to be true. The following is an example:

1.) Let us first define what Poopie is.
A.Smelly
B.Immobile
C.Human waste that belongs in the toilet

2.)We must now prove that Tim also satisfies all of these conditions.

2-A.) HeavilyArmedTimo does not bathe for days at a time and has been known to not brush his teeth. He is unmistakeably smelly and anyone who has had the displeasure of being within 10 feet of him can verify this fact.

2-B.) Tim is a one-lunged less than human freak. His inability to gather even a semblance of normal lung capacity leaves him of a state of severely crippled mobility which can be rounded down to equal complete immobility.

2-C.). As previously mentioned Tim is crippled. This is a result of the fact that some higher power obviously realized he was not worthy of existence. This being tried to abort Tim while he was in the womb and turn him into a miscarried toilet baby. Unfortunately, Tim, much like the T-1000, proved to be a son of a bitch to kill and he somehow survived.

3.) since Tim clearly satisfies all of the characteristics of a steaming number 2 it can therefore be concluded that he is little more than feces.

Now obviously we should marvel in the fact that a piece of excrement has gained sentient thought and is able to post on a blog, but let us not forget that anything Timo posts on this blog basically amounts to what he is. 100% Crap.


(I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors this whole post was written from an ipod as I did not view Tim as a worthy enough reason to make the 5 second walk to a laptop in my dorm room.)

3 comments:

  1. Actually, all of these points are true. The logic is sound, therefore the conclusion is true.

    ReplyDelete
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