Why My Girlfriend Never Worries About Other Women

I am bored, and I feel this blog needs an update, and since I don't feel very creative I have decided to share the contents of my current collection of games with you fine readers.

This is not a complete list as quite a few of my cartridge based games are at home do to a lack of storage space in a dorm room.

Consoles:
Atari 2600
Magnavox Odyssey 2
NES(Top Loader)
SNES
N64
Gamecube(both Silver and Black)
Wii
Sega Genesis (With a power base converter for Master System Games)
Sega Saturn
PS1
PS2
Xbox
Xbox 360 Slim

Hand Helds:
Original Gameboy
Game Boy Pocket
Game Boy Color
Virutal Boy
Game Boy Advance SP
Nintendo 3DS
Sega GameGear
Sega Nomad

Games:

NES:













1943 (in box)
A Boy and His Blog: Trouble in Blobolonia
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Adventure Island (in box)
Adventure Island II
Adventures of Lolo
Bandai Golf Challenge Pebble Beach
Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Revenge of the Joker
Battle Toads
Bible Adventures
Big Birds Hide & Speak
Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure (This game is most unexcellent)
Bionic Commando
Bubble Bobble
Captain Skyhawk
Castlevania
Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse
Chip N' Dale Rescue Rangers
Clash at Demonhead
Clu Clu Land
Contra
Crystalis
Darkwing Duck
Dick Tracy
Dig Dug II
Disney Adventures in the Magic Kingdom
Double Dragon
Double Dragon II: The Revenge
Double Dragon III: The Rosetta Stone
Dr. Chaos (In box)
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Dragon Warrior
Dragon Warrior II
Duck Tales
Duck Tales 2
Excite Bike
Exodus Journey to the Promised Land
Final Fantasy
Flying Warriors (In box)
Friday the 13th
Galaga
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters II
Ghosts 'N Goblins
Golf
Gradius
Ikari Warriors
Jackal
Jaws
Joust (In box)
Kid Icarus
King of Kings the Early Years
Kirby's Adventure
Kung Fu
Life Force
Maniac Mansion
Master Chu and the Drunkard Hu
McKids
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3(WOOOOO!)
Mega Man 4
Mega Man 5
Mega Man 6
Mega Man Ultra
Mermaids of Atlantis The Riddle of The Magic Bubble
Mickey Mousecapade
Mike Tyson's Punch Out
Milon's Secret Castle
Monster Party
Mr. Gimmick (Reproduction)
Muppet Adventure Chaos at the Carnival
Nes Open Tournament Golf
Ninja Gaiden
Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos
Ninja Gaiden III: The Ancient Ship of Doom
Pac-Man (Tengen)
Paperboy
Q*bert
Rambo
Rampage
River City Ransom
Shadowgate
Silver Surfer
Smash TV (in box)
Solomon's Key
Street Fighter 2010
Super C
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros./Duck Hunt
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros. 3 (in and out of box)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: The Manhattan Project
Tetris (not the good Tengen Version)
The Legend of Zelda
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
The Three Stooges
Thrilla's Surfari (in box)
Tiny Toon Adventures
Top Gun
Top Gun The Second Mission
Trolls on Treasure Island
Wally Bear and the No Gang
Where's Waldo
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Wrecking Crew
Xevious
Yo Noid




SNES:
The Adventures of Dr. Franken
Batman Forever
Chrono Trigger
Contra III: The Alien Wars
Donkey Kong Country
Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble
Earthworm Jim
F-Zero
Final Fantasy III(IV, in box)
Gradius III
Kirby's Dream Land 3
Lester the Unlikely
Mario Paint
Mega Man 7
Mega Man X
Mega Man X2
Mega Man X3
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Mortal Kombat II
Mortal Kombat III
NBA Jam Tournament Edition
Phalanx
Starfox
Super Castlevania IV
Super Empire Strikes Back (in box)
Super Mario Kart
Super Mario RPG
Super Mario World
Super Punch-Out!!
Super Street Fighter II
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time
Tetris Attack
The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past
Ultimate Mortal Kombat III
Zombies Ate My Neighbors












N64:
Buck Bumble
Donkey Kong 64
Kirby 64 The Crystal Shards
Mario Kart 64
Mario Party
Mario Party 2
Mario Party 3
Mega Man 64
Perfect Dark
Pokemon Puzzle League
Pokemon Snap
Pokemon Stadium
Pokemon Stadium 2
Starfox 64
Super Mario 64
Super Smash Bros.
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Gamecube:
Backyard Baseball
Enter The Matrix
Mario Kart Double Dash
Mario Party
Mega Man Anniversary Collection
Sonic Adventure 2: Battle
Sonic Adventure DX
Sonic Mega Collection
Super Mario Sunshine
The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker

Wii:
Animal Crossing City Folk
Donkey Kong Country Returns
Kirby's Epic Yarn
Mario Kart Wii
Metroid Prime 3
New Super Mario Bros. Wii
Nights Journey of Dreams
Pokemon Battle Revolution
Punch-Out!!
Sonic and the Secret Rings
Super Mario Galaxy
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Super Smash Bros. Brawl
The Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess
Wii Play
Wii Sports
Wii Sports Resort

Sega Genesis:
These games are at home and I cannot remember what I have

Sega Saturn:
Bug!
Bug Too!
Mortal Kombat Trilogy
Nights Into Dreams
Rayman
Street Fighter the Movie
X-Men Children of the Atom

Playstation 1:
Atlantis the Lost Empire
Colony Wars Vengeance
Crash Bandicoot
Crash Bandicoot 2 Cortex Strikes Back
Crash Bandicoot 3 Warped
Crash Bash
Crash Team Racing
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Jet Moto 3
Mega Man 8
Mega Man X4
Monster's, Inc. Scream Team
Pac-Man World
Spyro the Dragon
Spyro the Dragon 2 Ripto's Rage
Spyro the Dragon 3 Year of the Dragon
Star Wars Episode 1 Jedi Power Battles
T.R.A.G.
Tai Fu Wrath of the Tiger
Twisted Metal 4
Twisted Metal III

Playstation 2:
Dragon Ball Z Budokai
Dragon Ball Z Budokai 2
Dragon Ball Z Budokai 3
God of War
Grand Theft Auto III
Grand Theft Auto Vice City
Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance
Mortal Kombat Deception
Onimusha 2 Samurai's Destiny
Onimusha 3 Demon Siege
Onimusha Warlords
Twisted Metal: Black

Xbox:
Big Bumpin'
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Buffy The Vampire Slayer: Chaos Bleeds
Halo
Halo 2
Pocket Bike Racer
Sneak King
Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith
The Matrix Path of Neo

Xbox 360:
Batman Arkham City
Battlefield 2 Modern Combat
Bionic Commando
Dead Rising
Fable II
Fable III
Guitar Hero II
Guitar Hero III
Guitar Hero Metallica
Guitar Hero Van Halen
Guitar Hero World Tour
Halo 3
Halo 3: ODST
Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary
Halo Reach
Kameo Elements of Power
Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2
Marvel Vs. Capcom 3
Mortal Kombat
Perfect Dark Zero
Rock Band
Rock Band 2
Sonic Unleashed
Transformers War for Cybertron

Gameboy:
Exodus Journey to the Promised Land
Kirby's Dream Land
Kirby's Dream Land 2
Mega Man II
Mega Man IV
Pokemon Gold
Pokemon Pinball
Pokemon Puzzle Challenge
Pokemon Yellow
Street Fighter II
Super Mario Land
Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
Super Mario Land 3: Wario Land
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fall of the Foot Clan
Tetris
The Legend of Zelda Links Awakening DX
The Legend of Zelda Oracle of Ages
The Legend of Zelda Oracle of Seasons

Gameboy Advance:
Donkey Kong Country
The Legend of Zelda the Minish Cap
Pokemon Emerald
Pokemon Leaf Green
Pokemon Ruby
Pokemon Sapphire

DS:
Chrono Trigger
Mario Kart DS
New Super Mario Bros.
Pokemon Black
Pokemon Heart Gold
Pokemon Platinum
Super Mario 64 DS

3DS
The Legend of Zelda the Ocarina of Time
Mario Kart 7
Sonic Generations
Super Mario 3D Land

Bragging Rights: My Top 5 NES Achievements

As I have made abundantly clear on this blog before, I like to play NES games.  Like all NES gamers i have eventually tried my hand at some of the hardest games on the system, and here is my list of what i believe were some of the most difficult games, or challenges, that i have managed to conquer. 

5. Bible Adventures: Baby Moses.
Unlike the other games on this list the difficulty in beating this game is not based on genuine fair challenge, but instead is based instead on how dreadful the game is.  It is both mind numbingly dull, with music that is worthy of my last post, and has some of the sloppiest control I have ever encountered in my life. If you play this game you will constantly find yourself sliding off of platforms, and if that doesn't make you give up then you will probably quit when you realize that the only fun thing about the game is the novelty of owning it.  I am really not even proud of this one.  Playing this game is a waste of time.


4. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
The black sheep of the Zelda family, and one of my favorite (I have only played the first 4 games as of yet), is definitely one of the more challenging games on the NES.  Even if you are a seasoned professional of the Zelda series you will most likely be thrown for a loop when you begin this game, because unlike other games in the series this one is a side scroller.  This deviation in play style is the main cause of difficulty, because it catches you off guard.  Killing some enemies requires a great deal more skill than in the original Zelda, as you have to worry about low and high blocking and attacking. Mastery of this style of fighting becomes important very early in the game as you will encounter darknuts that are constantly moving their shields up and down and stabbing at different heights.  If you can adjust to this combat style though, and deal with starting at the beginning room every time you run out of lives, this game is definitely worth playing.  Unlike some of the forthcoming games on this list, Zelda II manages to balance out its extreme difficulty with a degree of fun that makes you want to keep playing, and for the most part keeps you from feeling too frustrated. (Death mountain is probably the exception to this idea, and is one of the main reasons this game is on the list.)

3. Mega Man 3
This game is a little bit different than the other ones on the list, because the achievement this time is not just beating the game, something I can do with ease. This time my accomplishment is beating a large portion of the game with one hand. And you are probably asking yourself "why would someone do that?" The answer is simple, I was bored. I don't know if it is something that I should be proud of, but it did leave me with a sense of satisfaction to destroy those vile robot masters with one hand tied behind my back. If anyone has a favorite game they want to add some extra challenge to I recommend they give this method a whirl.

2. Castlevania
Now we are getting serious.  Anyone who has played this game knows it does not f%#k around.

Right from the onset players will notice that Castlevania not only has some pretty limiting and hard to master jumping controls, but it is also full to the brim with enemies that come at you in seemingly endless packs. This alone would be enough to make most players want to stop, but right around the 3rd or 4th area of the game, the real trouble becomes abundantly clear as you come across your first death pits. The awkward jumping would be enough trouble here, but Konami decided it needed to be even harder, so every time you get hit anywhere near a pit you are almost guaranteed to fly backwards into said pit.

For awhile this is all still very manageable challenge, highly frustrating make you want to rip your hair out manageable, but manageable none the less, and then you make it to level 5 (in particular the last screen before the boss). It is at this point that the amount of enemies in the game seems to really get out of control, and the amount of hits each one of these enemies takes, even with your most powerful weapon, is more than twice as many hits as it takes for them to kill you. This, while extremely infuriating, isn't the worst part. The worst part is that in order to beat death (the boss of this stage, and probably the hardest one in the game), you basically have to finish all of the levels in stage 5 without dying once to make sure you have the triple shot and the holy water. If you can manage that then you should be able to make your way through the last stage, and defeat Dracula, and then you can be cool (read a giant loser) like me.

1. Ninja Gaiden
Here it is. Not only the hardest NES game I have ever finished, but simply the hardest game I have ever beaten in my life. Take everything I said about enemies and being knocked back in Castlevania and multiply it by 10 and you will have a basic understanding of why this game is difficult. Add to that the fact that any enemy that is anywhere near the edge of the screen, and I mean if one stray pixel is even slightly close the edge, then the enemy will instantly respawn after you kill them. Oh yeah and most of the time when an enemy is touching the side of the screen they are right on the edge of a pit, so you can expect to fall into about a million pits if you are going to attempt to beat this game.

Unlike Castlevania, when you play this game you pretty much spend the whole time thinking that it cannot be beaten. There is almost no difficulty curve, the entire game is impossibly hard, and you are at a constant level of frustration the whole time you play, with one exception. The last stage of this game, all the way up to the last boss takes the already seemingly insurmountable difficulty and quadruples it. Each level takes about 20 deaths and that many minutes to beat, and every time you die even once on any of the 3 forms of the boss (which are definitely not easy) your ass gets sent all the way back to stage 6-1. Nothing compares to the frustration you feel when you make it through all the levels after hours of work only to be sent back after fighting the boss for about 30 seconds. The only emotion of equal intensity is the excitement and glee that you feel when you finally manage to overcome this evil sadistic tortuous game.

Special thanks to:
My lack of ability at sports for making this all possible.

Willtacular and Chris Ratsabout for their support during my attempts to beat Ninja Gaiden.

Kyle Davidson for deriving too much enjoyment from Baby Moses and providing incentive to keep playing that piece of crap.

My girlfriend Celia for putting up with my geeky need to spend hours trying to master games that are over 20 years old.

My older siblings for playing NES and inspiring me to do the same.

Sorry For The Silence

Hey I know we haven't been posting on here lately. This is mostly due to the fact that it is the summer and we like to chillax during the summer. Understand just how lazy we are that writing our insignificant thoughts about our primary interests is too much work for us.

Sadly, this post is not me getting back to writing, it is me saying that I will be getting back to writing for this blog sometime in the near future (once I get back to school where I actually have the internet). This post is just me updating all 5 of you about what journeys in the world of gaming I have taken this summer, and thus let you know what topics you could potentially be reading about in the near future.

My First (nonpokemon)RPG: Chrono Trigger
I have never given RPGs a chance. I only ever played one final fantasy game on a playstation demo disc as a kid, and thought it was boring. This lead to me abstaining from the genre. This changed when the collector in me couldn't help but purchase Chrono Trigger at a used game store. I played it, I loved it, I'll write more about it on another day.

Zelda
As a kid I never played any of the Zelda games, and as a collector of games I have acquired a lot of them. Last summer I decided to change this first fact and play through them all in the order that I would have had I had a chance to play them when they were released. I am currently on Ocarina of Time, or as it is more commonly called TEH GREATEST GAME EVAR MADE!!1!11!!!!! I will most likely write about my feelings on all the games I have played so far once I finish OoT.

My other time spent gaming has largely been in the norm for me, so whatever else I write about will have to come as a surprise. I'll update you adoring fans soon.

It's Offical

Our friends suck.


This past weekend, ProtoScott and myself got the opportunity to play some head-to-head Mortal Kombat (basically, all of them). The event was meant to be a gathering of old fans and newcomers, however the turnout was disappointingly limited and ended up being primarily a long series of battles between ProtoScott and myself. Regardless, it was a fun time overall. It was an especially good opportunity to recap and replay the Mortal Kombat games as a series.


Mortal Kombat (1993 SNES port)

Started a gaming phenomenon that captured hearts of gamers with its brutal moves and captivating characters. Unfortunately, we played the SNES port (no gore = snore). It was an experience, to say the least, going back to the roots of the games. As a fighting game, it contains no outstanding mechanics; our newcomer friends were not amused. If you're going to play a fighting game on the SNES, just play Street Fighter II (or another MK game).

ProtoScott's comment: Kano's censored heart rip fatality is hilarious.

ProtoScott's memory: I remember spending a lot of time trying to get the stage fatality on the pit.

H.A. Timo's comment: Sonya is tier 1.

H.A. Timo's memory: Sonya is tier 1.


Mortal Kombat II (1993 SNES port)

This toasty installment is considered by many to be the defining game in the series. It greatly expanded upon the characters and concepts created in the first game. The graphics are more crisp, the stages are darker, and the special moves are even cooler. Unfortunately, our saibot friends (see what I did there) were not very good competition for the fury that was ProtoScott and myself.

ProtoScott's comment: Ow wha? (Foul ball????)

ProtoScott's memory: Kitana's picture

H.A. Timo's comment: I really love this game; I was lucky enough recently to find and purchase a copy of the game with the box and manual included. Sick nasty!

H.A. Timo's memory: the deadpool stage really defines the game for me.


Ultimate Mortal Kombat III (1995 SNES port)

We would've played vanilla MKIII for the sake of completion, but this game is just superior. The most notable aspect of this game is the addition of a run button that gives the attacker an advantage over a defender. There are lots of cool characters, and the plot really takes off. A darn fun game, but the series really takes a turn for the goofy (especially manifest in the fatalities).

ProtoScott's comment: Smoke's "end of the world" fatality is lame

ProtoScott's memory:  in certain fatalities, the arms get left hanging in the air when the torso gets ripped off.

H.A. Timo's comment: Stryker is a cool dude who doesn't afraid of anything.

H.A. Timo's memory: the robots


Mortal Kombat Trilogy (1996 Sega Saturn version)

THIS GAME IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! (Timo says)

Absolutely the best of the classic Mortal Kombats. (ProtoScott says)

The game includes every character from the first three games and uses the fast-paced fighting mechanics from MKIII (sort of the Mortal Kombat Armageddon for its time, if that parallel helps anyone). What more is there to say? Definitely a cool game.

ProtoScott's comment: way too hard, even playing as Shao Kahn.

ProtoScott's memory: some nice comebacks against Timo

H.A. Timo's comment: Rayden rules.

H.A. Timo's memory: a couple of my siblings got this for me when I was 11 for Christmas. It was a tight gift.


Mortal Kombat Gold (Dreamcast 1999)

An updated version of MK4, the first 3D Mortal Kombat game. It introduced a lot of lame characters, but also brought back lots of old classics (like Liu Kang, Johnny Cage, and Sonya). It plays a lot like the 2D games, and is kind of an awkward bridge between the newer generation of MK and the original. Fun game, but punishes noobs.

ProtoScott's comment: Fujin is the only new character I found interesting.

ProtoScott's memory: rented it once (MK4 on N64)

H.A. Timo's comment: there's weapons, that's pretty cool.

H.A. Timo's memory: never really played it until now: fun game.


Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance (2002, PS2)

Oh yeah, this game's a fun one. This game marks the real beginning of the 3D era. It's certainly not as smooth to control as the original trilogy, but it introduces some new features. Each character has the usual special attacks, but they also can switch between two different fighting styles and a weapon. The fighting styles are a neat feature, but combos are hard to learn and remember. Fights between beginners usually consist of lots of jabs and special moves.

ProtoScott's comment: this is the game that got me back into the MK series. Got it through the best video game trade ever (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets for Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance).

ProtoScott's memory: the fateful day when I unlocked "Cooking with Scorpion" in the Krypt.

H.A. Timo's comments: Mokap!

H.A. Timo's memory: my best friend in elementary school rented it once and we played it for a whole day; it was amazing, and we even beat the arcade ladder together.


Mortal Kombat: Deception (2004, Xbox)

Probably the first MK game to tell its story within the realm of gameplay. As an effective sequel, Deception takes the concepts from MKDA and improves upon them. The game includes new features like chess kombat and puzzle kombat. It's a great game, yet again, but not very easy for beginners to pick up. Also of note, it features some of the most forgettable new characters. You folks remember Dairou? I don't think so.

ProtoScott's comment:Shredder-Sub-Zero rules!

ProtoScott's memory: Playing chess kombat late into the night.

H.A. Timo's comments: Noob-Smoke is top-tier.

H.A. Timo's memory: playing against my brother (he played Kobra, I played Noob-Smoke).

Mortal Kombat: Armageddon (2006, Xbox)

We didn't play the game that night. It's a bad game. It really is. The character roster consists of every MK character up to that point (excluding Khameleon, who is on the wii version), which sounds good on paper; however, the quality and variety of each character is limited by the memory that is taken up by all of these characters. Of note in this title is the Kreate-a-Fighter mode which is fun to mess around with. Mechanically, the game was executed poorly.

ProtoScott's comment: Kreate-a-Fatality ruined MK

ProtoScott's memory: watching Timo write about the game just now

H.A. Timo's comment: awful game, but I think it's a lot of fun

H.A. Timo's memory: messing with Kreate-a-Fighter with willtacular

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (2008, Xbox 360)

Somehow, this odd-sounding combination works. It's easy to pick up for nubs, and the characters look very cool (especially bats and supes!). Really, its not gameplay that draws us in; it's all about the characters. Overall, it's a novelty experience. Fun to pit the different DC heroes against each other. Most players ignore playing as any MK characters.

ProtoScott's comment: Shazaam! Captain Marvel FTW

ProtoScott and H.A. Timo's joint memory: late night, round three, specks of health each, Batman (ProtoScott) vs. Superman (Timo). Trick batarang for the Batman victory before Supes can get heat vision off.

H.A. Timo's comment: hmmmm... Shazaam?

Mortal Kombat (2011, Xbox 360)

I'm really tired of writing about these games, but this one is worth the effort. This game takes everything that was great about the classic MK games and multiplies it by nine. It features a hardy roster of classic characters who each have unique moves and play-styles. The fatalities have been taken to the next level, and the old hyperviolence of the original fatalities have been resurrected in the form of the new x-ray attacks. Players can unleash brutal mini-combos called x-ray moves on their opponents that zoom in on the damage each hit causes. By far, this game is the most satisfying fighting game to play: great (easy to learn, difficult to master) controls, beautiful visuals, and presents the most captivating story of any fighting game yet made. Play it.

ProtoScott's comment: I make this look easy.

ProtoScott's memory: I already look fondly upon beating Shao Kahn in story mode.

H.A. Timo's comment: Police brutality, comin' up!

H.A. Timo's memory: Playing online tag-team mode with willtacular.

Coming soon...

Our response to the Mortal Kombat movies. Both of them.

Round 1

Fight!

The other night, ProtoScott and myself got a chance to play some head-to-head Mortal Kombat 9. For such a carnal, competitive game, I think we both found it to be a wonderful bonding experience.

This post is in anticipation of an upcoming update that will be in the works soon. I hope to chronicle the power of gaming in building friendships and creating cherished memories. I will be housesitting for my parents this next weekend; thus, many wonderful folks will come visit me to play some video games. This time, the gathering will be Mortal Kombat themed. Spines will be ripped, heads will be removed, limbs will be chopped, and warm feelings of camaraderie will be nurtured. Ideally, the evening will end in friendship.

Sound Test: The Epic Fail Edition

As the 6 readers of this blog that aren't writers of this blog know, our most consistent feature is our monthly Sound Test where we (Timo, and one time me) pick some of our favorite video game music in order to share our favorite tunes with you. Timo and I were recently discussing this segment and came up with an idea for a fun little twist, we are also going to start sharing some of our least favorite songs with you. I don't know if this will be as regular an occurrence as the normal Sound Test blogs, but it should be fun none the less, so lets get started by cranking up the volume and listening to 2 of my least favorite pieces of 8 bit diarrhea.

CAUTION LISTEN AT YOUR OWN RISK

First up on the plate we have the over world music from Friday the 13th on the NES. Unfortunately, this song is such an affront to the ears that no one has taken the time to give it its own youtube video, so we will have to make due with this video that compiles all the songs in the game. The song we are after is the first one in the video so don't worry about scrolling to look for it. That 4 second looped pathetic excuse for music is the main song in the game. This is the song that you will be listening to for over 70% of your play time. I guarantee you that if you play this game for more than an hour (which would be amazing the quality of this song pretty accurately reflects the quality of the game) you will forever have this piece of putrid garbage burned into your brain. I swear sometimes at night I can't sleep because every time I lay in a quiet room all I can hear is DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH, and I know that it is impossible for you to interpret the text that I just wrote as music since it has no indication of pitch or rhythm, but I don't care because this piece of crap loop isn't music. In fact I honestly believe that my text interpretation of it is more satisfying to listen to, because listening to nothing is infinitely more satisfying than subjecting your ears to the vomit inducing vileness that is the Friday the 13th over world music.

Now my next pick for the worst of the worst that video game music has to offer may surprise some of you, Mega Man 2 Dr. Wily's music. Now don't freak out I am not talking about the balls to walls Stage 1-2 music, obviously that song is beastly and one of the best pieces of music that the NES ever gave us. I am talking about the insult that is the next song you will hear in Wily's Castle. Just listen to this garbage. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!! You are all pumped on the edge of your seat full of adrenaline from the face melting power of the first song in Wily's castle, and then the game is like C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER! I can't even imagine what they were thinking with this one.

"Well gee that last song was awesome, I guess since we can't write anything better than that we should just try our best to produce the most mind numbing thing we can. I got it we will just take a boring 6 second piece of ass, and then sequence it higher and higher 9 million times!"

I will never be able to fully impart on you people how much I hate this song. Whenever I put the Mega Man II OST on to listen to while I walk to class I feel super pumped, and then this disgusting joke of a song comes on and I just wanna lay down in the middle of the street and let a bus run me over.

SUPER MEAT BOY!

Sometimes I find myself all alone in the Xbox dashboard, with no friends online and no desire to play the games I currently own all by myself. Usually, this just means I must wallow in slightly pathetic misery until I turn my Xbox off and find something else to do. However, if the planets are correctly aligned and somewhere in the world a child enters the contra code on an NES controller, I happily realize that I have microsoft points with which to buy an Xbox Live Arcade game. When it comes to these precious points, I am often stingy on what I should spend them on. I download a bunch of free demos, play them, and then buy whichever game sparks my interest. This is not what happened recently. I downloaded the demo for a game called Super Meat Boy, thinking it had a strange title and cover, and by the time the introduction movie had finished I knew that I would be purchasing this gem of a game.

The story is an archetype of video games: A bad guy snatches your girl and it is up to you to stop him. In this specific case, you are a boy with no skin who loves a girl who happens to be made of bandages, and the bad guy is a fetus in a jar wearing a tuxedo with a knack for flipping you off

But the brilliance of this game is not in the story; it is in the gameplay. Super Meat Boy is a platformer, and unlike scores of games that have come out recently, it is hard. Like, really hard, and this difficulty is a wonderful thing.The controls in Super Meat Boy are of a dream-like quality. Each and every death you face (and you will face thousands) feels like it is entirely your fault, which slightly enhances your focus, and eventually your rage. While most games give you a brief delay between deaths, SMB puts you right back in the action (at the beginning of a level, checkpoints are for n00bs) almost instantly, leading you to try again and again until your iron reflexes and quick wit eventually overcome buzzsaws, lazers, rockets, fire-slugs, and some flying enemies that look like poop.

For an arcade game, Super Meat Boy also has incredible depth. Scattered throughout the levels are hidden bandages, which unlock new characters if you can manage to get the bandage (which is always placed in a challenging spot) and then go on to complete the level. These unlockable characters all control differently (yet still sublimely) and have different abilities, such as double-jumping and rewinding time, which causes each character to bring a different feel to the game. Also included in a few levels are hidden warp zones, which are levels done in an 8-bit style that pay homage to classic games. All in all there are around 340ish levels in the main game, along with free DLC levels that get updated regularly (you don’t even have to download them, it’s magical). The bottom line is, this is a fantastic platformer that feels like an old game with all the bells and whistles of a new one. If you own an Xbox 360 (or a PC) and like platformers, you need this game. Period.